Paradise Motel
Please name the animals!
For each animal, we need a genus, species, natural habitat and um, other stuff! Just edit this page and add names for them.
Purplehooter Pickle
(Vlassicus Ciconiiformes-testudines)
During the D-list days of our beloved Vlassic the Pickle Stork does this rare breed of mutant have its origin. Wasted one night at the Bellagio in Vegas, Vlassic seduced an under-aged tortoise stripper tranny named 'Purple Hooter' who he inadvertantly mistaken for Snagglepuss. The legend goes every time a Purplehooter Pickle is born, you hear the stork's last words to Purple Hooter, "That's the best tastin' pickle I eva hoid!"
Bug Eyed Blooter Baby
(vociferous crapulificus)
These creatures were first spotted in the sub basement of the famed Dame Amy Whinehouse of Enfield by naturalist Gerald Durrell in what appears to be a small pond composed of various alcohols which have seeped into said basement. This habitat has been placed in protected status by the Ministry of Environment as this creature cannot survive if subjected to fresh air, pure water or direct sunlight. Its diet consists entirely of crack cocaine and its primary predator is the dreaded Paparazzi.
Craburgler
(imposterous crabmeaticus)
Zigger
(tiggerious disneycoum-dieblicus)
Three-Fingered Nickel-Noser
(Manacus Proboscus)
This Three Fingered Nickel-Noser was born after a rare mating between a three-toed sloth and a great green macaw, which made for an endearing blend. It could probably be said that the three-toed sloth was just to slothful to shun the aroused parrot. Our Three Fingered Nickle-Noser is quite a handful, and while, sadly, he does not have a green thumb, it was quickly discovered that he excelled at greeting people, as well as lending a hand.
Duck Duck Binx
(Dumbicus annoyingeliduckius)
One night in a drunken stupor, george lucas decided to make a movie about a duck. There were many renditions - larry the duck, johnson the duck, and of course howard the duck. The last of these could talk and of course was a horny bastard. He decided to fuck one of lucas's other creations : Jar Jar binx. Conception occured in jar Jar's mouth. This love child was the result.
Toothed Bottom-Feeder
(Sharpisicus Anusicus)
This is one of our more disturbing specimens. With spines on his back, and teeth on his ass, this mutant is beyond anal-retentive. In fact, we can best describe this little guy as anal-defensive. His conception was quite simple; a piranha discovered a pair of dentures floating in the water, fell in love, and the rest is history. Yes, in a mating that defies biology and common sense, out plopped a creation that is prepared to bite-off anything that might cause any form of reproduction to occur. It's rumored, although unsubstantiated, that both ends will attack the groin area whenever any arousal is detected--however none of our keepers have dared to put this to the test.
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Comments
Shasta
Aug 16, 2009
We'll need to remember to cut the tags off of all of them at some point. I noticed a few still had price tags or labels still attached.